The Pesto Manifesto

In which the tome that deals with the First Challenge of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is revealed. The scribe of the book was Pesto, a midget created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The Pesto Manifesto, as it came to be known, was created by His Noodliness to aid in the battle of His First Challenge, as predicted by the omniscient Holy Monster.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Preamble to the Pesto Manifesto

To all of the Faithful,

I recently discovered a book, identified as The Pesto Manifesto.

Apparently, it contains some of the Holy Words of His Noodliness the Flying Spaghetti Monster, who used a midget He created, simply known as Pesto, as His scribe.

The book has the appearance of a regular notebook, written on with blue ink. The Book assures us that this would be so that it would go undiscovered until the time of the First Challenge, and the design merely exactly matchs that of a regular notebook because of His Noodlinesses omniscience.

I myself am ambivalent towards the use of radioactive isotopes in dating.

However I'm willing to allow the Holy Book to undergo testing, as long as the person or people that request the testing purely and genuinely believe that the process is valid. If the results of the process invalidate the age that the Book claims to be, or if the tested age invalidates any of the claims of the Book, the Book will be discredited, as a rational, logical person would discredit any book that failed such a test.

It is of course possible that His Noodliness may try to change the results of this test with His Noodly Appendage, as He tends to do. If anyone wishes the book to be tested, I will burn some cheese in offering that He leave the date unchanged, but it's hard to tell if the offering has been accepted.

The Book itself is comprised of one chapter with many verses, which are numbered irregularly. Some have suggested that the spaces between the numbers comprise a "Noodle Code", which it is claimed His Noodliness encoded His predictions and statements with some fairly prosaic homilies. I, for one, do not believe this to be the case.

These verses will be made available as they become useful in His First Challenge, as I have limited time to transcribe the predictions, a bad left eye, and a right-sided eye patch as part of the pirate regalia I must wear during the transcriptions. I may allow others to transcribe from the book in the future, depending on the fury with which the First Challenge is faced.

I will quote the verse exactly later, but Pesto does explain that His Noodliness had a son, who He called Jesus, who turned out to be a slightly exccentric parlour magician of small but adequate skill. In an act of rebellion against his Father, Jesus created a cult that would last for millenia, with an idealized but imaginary father figure as its spiritual center.

Some of the events mentioned in the official tome of the cult are also represented in the Pesto Manifesto. Of significant interest is the Last Supper. The cult of Jesus mentions that wine and bread were served. Hardly a significant meal. The Pesto Manifesto mentions the wine and bread in a less central role, merely augmenting the spaghetti and meatballs that represented the body and blood of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

The transcriptions of the verses that support this material, and all of the other verses that are needed in support of His First Challenge, do not belong in the preamble and will be placed in separate posts.

For now I call you all to join the furious battle of His First Challenge.

RAmen

The Most Humble Transcriber of the Pesto Manifesto.

4 Comments:

At 4:15 AM, Blogger T said...

RAmen.

 
At 1:32 PM, Blogger AxmxZ said...

Ramen.

(Are you Bobby or someone else?)

 
At 3:09 PM, Blogger Transcriber of the Pesto Manifesto said...

I'm someone else. Bobby is funnier than me.

 
At 12:47 PM, Anonymous Beliefer said...

Ramen et Al Dente

 

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